Conflict...Maybe we should embrace it

Many years ago, in the earlier days of my job at SmarterTools, I was still getting my feet wet when it came to our partnerships. I would communicate with the potential partners, then discuss them with my manager to decide if they should be accepted into the program or not. One particular potential partner (excuse the alliteration) became upset with a question my manager had me ask him. The PP (potential partner) came back at me in the email in an aggressive way. I don’t remember the particulars of the conversation, but my manager had me respond letting the PP know that we are glad they responded the way they did, as this helped us to determine what the best option for them would be. For years I wondered why it was a good thing we upset him and that he responded how he did. While it’s not a good thing to upset someone, and I wouldn’t do it intentionally, the conflict itself was. I know what you’re thinking, “how is conflict a good thing?” While doing my undergrad, in Marriage and Family Studies, I took a Conflict Management class. The one thing that stands out the most to me from that class is that conflict can be a good thing, and for many reasons.   During my conflict class we had an assignment to ask our friends and family for a metaphor for conflict. Before my class my metaphor would have been something with a negative connotation. But when my sister took the same class a couple years later and had the same assignment I said “conflict is like a sour patch kid, it’s sweet and sour”. I, like many others, don’t like conflict. I still try to avoid it sometimes (I’m a work in progress). But if you really think about it, what does conflict do? Yes, it can cause contention, it can start a fight, you can lose relationships over it. But those are not the only things conflict can do. Conflict can help clear the air and ease contention, bring misunderstandings to light, or bring clarity to the root of a problem. In the case of the PP it helped us to understand what he really wanted.   Psychologist Sherrie Campbell wrote an article called The 10 Benefits of Conflict. In it she writes about what conflict can do for you. Conflict gives you the opportunity to listen to one another and hash out any underlying issues that were never addressed, understand and learn about someone else's perspective, learn how others think, open you up to new ideas, give you an opportunity to see where changes need to be made (in yourself or in your relationship), and many other benefits of conflict. Take a look at Sherrie’s article to learn more. Can you think of a time you benefited from conflict? Share your experience below.