I'm sometimes astounded at the amount of couples who know next to nothing about having a sexual relationship with their spouse when they go into marriage. As I've heard it put many times we are taught, "no, no, no" then suddenly it's "go, go, go." Many are taught that sex is bad and wrong, and then are expected to engage in at once they are married. In the talk, “They Twain Shall Be One: Thoughts on Intimacy in Marriage” by Brent Barlow (former professor of marriage, family and human development at Brigham Young University), he says, " Some people still believe that sexual intimacy is a necessary evil by which we have children. These people get an inaccurate view from parents who were too embarrassed to discuss such matters with their children or who were so concerned that their children live the law of chastity that they taught only the negative consequences of the improper use of intimacy."
I was lucky enough to be taught by my parents, and siblings, that sex is a part of marriage. My siblings and I were taught that a sexual relationship before marriage is wrong, but after marriage it is an important part of your relationship. I was also lucky enough to have older siblings whom I have been able to learn from over the years. I have learned that there are many important aspects of marriage that need to be nurtured. Having your spouse as you friend and confidant, nurturing the trust between the two of you, having an emotional and physical relationship are all important in maintaining a strong marriage.
President Spencer W. Kimball (President of the LDS church in 1973 until his death in 1985) taught us that the physical attraction between husband and wife is for two reasons, "for the propagation of the human race, and for the expression of that kind of love between man and wife that makes for true oneness. His commandment to the first man and woman to be ‘one flesh’ was as important as his command to ‘be fruitful and multiply"
I feel it is important that children are taught about sexual relationships properly. To merely teach your children that it is bad is not enough. Yes, they should be taught about chastity. But when teaching your children this, make sure they understand when a sexual relationship is appropriate and why. Instead of teaching them "no, no, no" and "go, go, go," teach them "wait, wait, wait."
Even in modern times sex is still a taboo topic among LDS. My wife and I went to a marriage prep class at a local institute building after we got engaged (it was her idea). The class sucked, the very last class the instructor spoke about intimacy in marriage. Not once did he use the word "sex", not once did he really talk about it. The closest he came to even talking about sex was when he said to the men in the room "don't treat your wives like a prostitute". I think this example affirms your point about teaching no,no,no and go,go,go. Needless to say after the last class we had a frank talk about sex which is what everybody should do before they get married. It's also a shame that parents now a days don't want to teach their kids the truth, people think that if you talk about alcohol you automatically become an alcoholic, if you talk about drugs you become a drug addict, if you talk about sex you become a HO!
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